“If you can’t write anything funny, don’t write anything at all.”

View from the North 40 executives, and those of its affiliate Pamville News, decided in January to adopt the new policy listed above in order to set a standard of content excellence. It was a good plan.

In theory.

In practice, not so much goodness came of it.

In practice, then, no content was written. Nothing seemed funny, and nothing came out on the screen which appeared to be funny or appeared to contain elements of that which is generally considered funny in our current culture. In fact, I couldn’t even write about the change in policy which precipitated the extended written silence because it was (and this is the harsh fact) not funny.

Then, of course, the extended silence could only be described with terms such as “sad,” “depressing,” “pitiful,” and “you hack.” And those terms used in a serious fashion — that lacks all undertones (subtle or otherwise) of either irony or sarcasm — are, obviously, not funny.

For some time now, administration has noticed that the lack of written content meeting the executive demand that all said content be measurably funny has discouraged writers from even attempting to generate any type of written content altogether.

An independent consulting firm hired by administration to look into the matter has best described the condition of nonfunniness as “a whirlpool, or a whirling vortex of hell, in the fragile reservoir of creativity” that is “sucking all creative impulses to a quagmire of unreachable depths.” In other words, it’s counterproductive.

To address the issue, administration has changed the North 40 content policy to:

“Just friggin’ write.”

So here I am at pam@viewfromthenorth40.com