OK, I keep meaning to sit down and write about these articles, and when the words are rolling through my brain, I sound hilarious enough to deserve those italics. Then I get side-tracked and then the words fizzle and then I’m not so much in the hi-larry-us department.

Random view: Xena in sepia

What? The photos? Oh, they’re just because. Maybe they’ll make up for the not so much funny, eh?

This week we are exploring how proud I am to be a Montanan.

First up is the Helena teen who tried texting a local pot dealer, but miss-dialed. And of all the wrong numbers in the world that he might’ve gotten? He texted the Lewis and Clark County Sheriff based in Helena. Busted, little dude. Actually, worse than busted, he and his buddy were turned over to their parents. Yeah, word up, dawg.

Had that’ve been me, I would’ve begged the sheriff to shoot me. Seriously.

Next up on the oh-gawd-you-could-be-my-neighbor list is the guy in Three Forks who crashed his sister’s wedding and made a first-class ass-aulter out of himself by hitting the bride in the face with a wrench. Yeah, y’know, when I’m in a big-ass wedding-party rage a wrench is my weapon of choice. Sure, pliers work better for yanking the teeth out of your victim’s mouth after the initial blow to the choppers, but they don’t pack enough heft to loosen the things to begin with. Just make sure the spinny-adjuster thingy on the wrench is well greased so you can really tighten the jaws down on the enamel, and set yourself at a good prying angle, and you’ll do fine with a wrench. Of course, quality tools work the best, so don’t skimp on that when you’re in the hardware store.

John wanted me to put this random thought that I had in my blog: Remember James J. Lee who stormed the Discovery Channel offices and held hostages with guns and homemade bombs? He said he was doing it because humans have over-populated the planet and Discovery Channel needed to be doing something about it by promoting under-population and cutting back on programs that involve mating. Or something like that, I didn’t have the gun to my head so I wasn’t paying close attention.

Does anyone else think he should’ve skipped Discovery and laid siege to some anti-abortion headquarters somewhere to be, maybe, a little more effective? Not that I’m advocating such reckless and deviant behavior. Just saying it makes more sense in a proactive sort of way.

Random view: sunrise 9-8-2010

Profoundish thought of the day: I was taking pictures of the sunrise this morning, and when the conditions had changed enough that it was no longer registering at the “extraordinary” end of my beauti-ometer, I thought, “Oh well, the moment’s gone.” Then it suddenly occurred to me that someone farther west of me was probably looking at his or her sunrise (which is my sunrise, just later) and thinking it looked awesome. And later someone

Random view: birthday boy Cooper

even farther west would be thinking the same thing, and onward into the future until it is my turn for the sunrise again tomorrow. And it’s all the same sunrise, forever.

OK, maybe the average third-grader has thought of sunrise that way, but it was a new one for me.

I told it to Cooper, and he thought I sounded the genius. BTW, today is Cooper’s fifth birthday. Such a big doggy.

And he’s so cute, too, at: pam(at)viewfromthenorth40.com