Fear the crazy eyes, human.

Snake in the grass has nothing over ol’ crazy eyes here. Those eyes were not in any way digitally enhanced — they are, apparently, a feature unique to the plains spadefoot toad. It’s a pretty small ribbeter, so I didn’t realize I should be nervous and asking him if he’s current on his meds and if he’s homeless because it’s hard for the chronically bipolar to hold down a job. He’s labeled as a “species of concern” with Montana Fish, Wildlife & Parks. I thinks it’s the crazy eyes giving him a rap. Honestly, he seemed sweet, like the musician in “The Soloist,” so we’re cool, and he can hang out in my yard any time. FWP should just get off his case.

He's not a female goldfinch.If crazy-eyed amphibians aren’t your thing, then maybe a sweet, little song bird will do it for you. This is a yellow warbler which I was casually mislabeling as a female goldfinch until John said, uh, I don’t think so. So then I had to look it up and, oops, my bad. It’s probably a male, and I just hurt his standings with the ladies with my double-whammy racial and gender slur. He’ll probably land on my roof at 4:30 a.m. and thunk around on it dancing and singing until I wake up enough I can’t go back to sleep.

So maybe I deserve it, this time, at: pam(at)viewfromthenorth40.com